November is here, and the football season is well underway. But also underway is a tide of seemingly endless rain, causing our 11 a side pitches to resemble murky swamps. So if you need your weekly football fix, you should stop playing on these and risk drowning in the process (a bad way to go), and instead turn to Astroturf and 5 a side football. … Continue reading The Incomplete Guide to… 5 a side Football

To enter a gym is to enter a new planet entirely; you’re suddenly faced with objects, people, and odours you’ve never encountered on Earth. Well, it should at least count as the planet’s fourth major ecosystem, and could easily fill an Attenborough series or two. Although gyms like to say there are 347 reasons to join, there’s only really one – to get in better … Continue reading The Incomplete Guide to… The Gym

So uni’s back, and freshers are once again filling our streets with expectation, trepidation and Tesco’s worst vodka. I could give a complete guide to university here, but that would just overwhelm and depress us all. So instead, let’s examine a microcosm of uni life – pre-drinks, better known as pres. Lurid kitchen lights are flickering to life across the country as excited freshers begin … Continue reading The Incomplete Guide to… Freshers’ Week Pres